Choosing a Guardian for Your Children

One of the most important and difficult decisions parents can make is the choice of a guardian for their minor children in the event of their deaths.  However, it is often an easy task to procrastinate.   If you do not name a guardian and the need arises, a judge who knows little about your family will make that decision for you.  Anyone can step forward and ask to be guardian; it may not be the person you would have chosen or who shares your family values.

When naming a guardian, many people do not put nearly enough thought into their selection.  They often choose a close relative or friend regardless of that person’s background and capabilities.   Below is a checklist of important questions parents should ask when selecting a guardian for their child.

• Does the prospective guardian have the required maturity, experience, temperament, patience, and stamina to undertake the responsibilities as guardian of your particular child or children?
• Does the prospective guardian have a genuine concern for your children’s welfare?
• Does the prospective guardian understand the emotional needs of your children and, if not, is he or she willing and able to obtain skilled guidance on this subject?
• Is the prospective guardian a person of integrity and stability?
• Are you confident in the prospective guardian’s parenting skills?  Are the guardian’s views on child discipline, education, sports and other school activities acceptable to you?
• Are the prospective guardian’s personal situation, religion, age, marital status, other children, personality traits, and similar factors acceptable to you?
• Will sufficient funds be available to cover the costs of caring for your children throughout the period of guardianship?  If your children are to live with the prospective guardian, are there sufficient funds to enable the guardian to meet the increased strain on their resources?

You do not want to impose the economic burdens of raising and educating your children on someone who simply cannot meet them.

1. Where does the prospective guardian live?

Most often, your children will move in with the guardian so you should consider where the prospective guardian lives and if you are content with your children being raised there.

1. Is the prospective guardian willing to serve?

It is important to make sure that the person you are considering to serve as guardian is willing to accept the responsibility.  Even though you may think they are the perfect candidate, there may be valid reason why they cannot fulfill your request.  It is better to find out that the prospective guardian has reservations or is uncomfortable with the idea while you still have the option of making another selection.

• What is the relationship between your children and the prospective guardian?  Does the prospective guardian have any conflicts of interest with your children?
• What are your children’s preferences; to the extent they can be ascertained?
• Is the prospective guardian willing and able to give your children an upbringing similar to that which you would have provided financially, socially, morally, and in other ways important to you?
• Do you want the prospective guardian to adopt your children and, if so, is the nominee willing to do so?

14.  Does the age of the prospective guardian pose any problems?  Is the prospective guardian physically and mentally able to undertake the care of an additional child or children, and have the time necessary to devote to this task?

You should choose someone young enough to see their responsibilities through to your child’s adulthood. Although it may be tempting to choose your own parents as guardians, they are less likely to be in good enough health to withstand the challenges of childrearing than persons your own age or younger.    On the other hand, your parents may be in a better position financially and have more time to be hands on with raising your children.  A younger guardian may be too involved in getting their own career and family in order to invest the time in raising your children.  This is also trust for an adult sibling of a minor child – the sibling may be in college or beginning their career and not in the position to successfully raise their younger sibling.

Once you have decided on your guardian(s), it is important that you consult your attorney to draft the necessary documents to make your decision legally binding.